


Prank Wars in the Tower

by OkayLetsObsess



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayLetsObsess/pseuds/OkayLetsObsess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series in which the Avengers do mischievous things to each other. A collection of half-assed shorts from my brain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prank Wars in the Tower

Putting dye in people's shampoo bottles is easy enough and has never failed to satisfy my need for entertainment. I'm staying away from Pepper this time, though. I know better than to tamper with Pepper's hair. That would be dangerous. When she's really angry, JARVIS obeys her over me, which is definitely hazardous.

So I'm in Rite Aid, browsing colors that I think would best match my team. Definitely blue for the most patriotic being I've ever known, Steve. Red to match Point Break's Asgardian attire. For our favorite catsuit-wearing spy, bluish black to match her suit. For Bruce, a shade of green that mirrors his ultra-awesome angry side. And for Clint, medium brown to represent his inner hawk. I check out and though the cashier may question my intentions, I'm very excited for this. They all need to lighten up a little, anyways.

I pull into the garage of the tower with a bag of hair products resting in the passenger seat. My beautiful girlfriend Pepper Potts probably got a tip from JARVIS where I had gone and was waiting for me in the elevator. "Tony," she said in a scolding tone, "you know better than to mess with them. The majority of the team can kill you faster than you can even think the word 'sorry.' Especially Natasha. She isn't one for forgiveness."

"Sweetie. You have no faith in me. I'm Tony Stark. I can pull this off. It's a classic prank."

"Yes, well. Tony Stark, you can't say I didn't warn you." She began to walk away.

"And Pep?" I spoke up, trying to get her attention again. Per usual. 

"Yeah?" She yelled back over her shoulder.

"Don't be a snitch."

"Sweetie." she said in mockery, "You have no faith in me. I'm Pepper Potts." and walked away. I don't know for sure if she's going to warn anyone, but I can't back out now. I'm in it to win it. "It" being the glorious frustration of "earth's mightiest heroes" looking like teenagers who haven't passed through that phase that they all seem to be having nowadays. 

Walking into the security room, I check to see which Avengers are not in their rooms. Bruce is always in the lab for a while, so I might as well start with him. I head off to his private bathroom carrying a concealed bottle of pale green hair dye. I make sure to have JARVIS on lookout duty since my only ally, Pepper Potts, is refusing to get involved. Strangely enough, his shampoo is green originally so it's not hard to blend in. "One down, four to go."

On my walk back to the security room, I ask my favorite Artificial Intelligence system "JARVIS, where are our favorite spies?"

"Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are on a mission in Los Angeles and are expected back right after 1a.m."

"Keep me posted, JARVIS."

Clint and Natasha shared a floor because of their familiarity with each other. I swear they're sleeping together but nobody believes me. They have two separate bathrooms but I'm not sure how often they shower separately. I go to Natasha's bathroom first, and slip the dye I picked out into the most emptied bottle of hair conditioner. Spying a bottle of Axe hair product, I know I was right. They're the sharing type. Pepper doesn't let me keep my supplies in her bathroom. I go into Clint's bathroom as well and put the rest of his dye in the nearest bottle just incase he decided to shower in his own private bathroom. I spoil them so much. "Three down." I whisper to myself.

Returning to the security cameras, I look around Steve's floor and there's no sign of life anywhere. For someone who has no friends outside of the team and a job without a regular schedule, he seemed to keep busy. Well, nevermind. I suppose he has Sam sometimes. I checked the gym next and he was just starting to break in his precious punching bags. Smiling, I grabbed the blue dye and was off to Steve's floor. He was so neat that it was irritating. Being in the army does that to you, I've noticed. It trains you to be neat and take care of yourself so properly. It really does get annoying. Almost as annoying as me.

So of course his shower was organized and he had lined up the bottles so carefully, in a pattern that I'll never understand. So I take the first bottle of Old Spice shampoo and put some of the blue hair coloring inside. This is just too easy. Maybe next time I'll let Clint in on the plan. I feel like he would be able to pull off a good prank. That makes four. Next on my to-do list; Make Goldilocks' locks a shade of deep red. "JARVIS, when is Thor going to arrive home?"

"Thor is currently in Colorado with Ms Foster. He is due back at the tower early this evening with her."

"Thanks." I grabbed the red and headed to Thor's floor of the tower. In his shower, he had at least 10 various bottles of hair product. Apparently, a lot of effort goes into maintaining his luscious locks of glory. I pick each of them up and see which one is used the most to determine which one to spike. Finding the bottle and dumping the deep red into it, I shout "Done!"

It's 3 p.m. now and I still have several hours before the team arrives. So I suppose I could find something productive to do. I'm heading toward the basement, my workshop, when Pepper stops me. "Hey, you. Have you finished yet?"

"Finished with what, darling?" I tried to smile innocently and pulled her in for a kiss. I'm bad at acting innocent, especially around her.

"I'm not involved in anything. I'm the mediator in this tower and it's etched into my reputation that I keep you guys from killing each other." She said, which is true.

"Okay, Pep. I was going to the workshop, but have you heard from our Spider recently?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's why I came. She and Clint will be here in a few hours." Pepper gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and went back to whatever she was doing. Probably more important stuff I pushed on her when I made her CEO. She's such a busy body now and sometimes I feel bad about letting her do all the work and then I remember that I would just screw it up if I tried.

JARVIS announced at 4:45 "Tony, Thor has arrived with Mrs Foster."

"Thanks, JARVIS." I heard a faint thud where Thor and his genius mortal girlfriend landed on the doorstep. About half an hour later, I heard Thor roar "Tony Stark!" With a towel wrapped around his waist, he storms into one of the TV rooms with ferocious red hair. It came out really good, actually. "Tony. This is unacceptable. Undo this and return my hair to it's natural state."

"With all the hair products in there, what you had before was not in it's natural state, pretty boy." I retorted, mentally congratulating myself for the good comeback.

Jane came in the room and starts laughing, seeing Thor's hair. "Oh, goodness. Can I get a picture of this?" She starts to pull out her phone, and Thor speaks.

"This is not funny, Jane, it seems like something that Loki would do to me when we were children."

"Okay, okay. Let's go get some things from the drug store. We can surely find something to take the dye out." Jane says right after taking a few photos.

"Aww, Jane, you're no fun."

"Whatever, Tony. I'm just glad I don't live here to get constantly played by you."

"Thanks, it's what I'm best at." They quickly left to get dressed and go shopping.

It was 5:30 when they left and I asked JARVIS where our loyal Captain Rogers was.

"He is in the hall on the 4th floor, sir, walking to his room." JARVIS replied and I decided now would be the best time to get comfortable and to read some recent news about Iron Man. They really couldn't get enough of me. Of course, this time the other Avengers were in the article. 10 minutes later, I heard some fast, presumably angry footsteps coming my way.

"Tony, this is hardly acceptable." Steve appeared with blue hair, some blue dye on his neck. At least he managed to put on pants and a T-shirt before storming out here.

"Oh, Cap. You're no fun. Not the best reaction. Call Jane. She's picking up some stuff to repair Thor's hair, too." I offer, a little bored with this particular reaction already.

He eyed me carefully. "Tony, I really hope you didn't do this to Natasha." I smiled and he sighed. "Well I'm not going to be in the tower when she gets the surprise." He walked out of the room, phone in hand and I still don't have a good response. Natasha's reaction will definitely be the best. I'm not certain whether Clint will hold her back this time or not, seeing as I've put dye in his shampoo as well. Since waiting is futile and boring, I told JARVIS, "JARVIS, wake me up when the spies get here. I'm taking a power nap."

Many hours later, JARVIS woke me up as I had asked. "Mr. Stark, Agents Romanoff and Barton have just walked in their rooms." I moaned and groggily got off the couch, rubbing my eyes. "Did they go to separate rooms, or Natasha' room?"

"They went into their own rooms." I guess no hanky-panky tonight.

And about another half an hour later, when I was drifting back to sleep, I heard a crash.

A seriously ticked off spy said "Старк является покойник!!" I got sick of not being in on Clint and Natasha's private conversations a while ago, so I learned a little Russian. Of course, I don't know Russian, I just know some of the basics. I recognized the word "man" but that's about it. The way she said whatever she said, though was alarming.  
"Agent Romanoff just said in Russian 'Stark is a dead man.' Sir, I suggest you exit the premises."

"Keep your suggestions to yourself, JARVIS." this system is surprisingly good with sass . . . . I suppose he learns from the best.

"Agent Romanoff will arrive to your location in less than 30 seconds."

"Thanks, JARVIS." I prepared myself and started a few quick stretches but before I could, she came in with Clint right behind her. Unfortunately, she was clothed and Clint hadn't used his dye yet. She was wearing one of Clint's T-shirts and a pair of her own sweats. She had the look on her face like she was going to kill me, and the best part was that her hair was jet black with a little hint of blue if you look at it right. I must admit, I thought that it would look strange and out of place, but she could pull it off pretty well. Not as well as her usual scarlet orange shade, though.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." She said about ten feet away from me, giving me the look that can kill.

"Because it looks good like that." She started coming at me but when she was just inches away from me, Clint grabbed her and pinned her down. "Whoa, Hawkeye. Nice tackle." I commented. He managed to free a hand and punched me hard where it definitely hurt.

"Stark, I advise you to get away whilst I hold down the woman trying to kill you. Now."

I might as well get away. I know, I'll find Pepper and go for a walk, I could use some quiet with her. The fact that she was one of the three people that could talk down Natasha had absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to have her around. "You have fun with that. Call me when she's calmed."

"Don't count on it." As I'm walking away, I can hear him trying to soothe her with compliments and things like "don't waste your time on him," and my personal favorite, "he's not worth it." I tend to hear things like that a lot.

Clint never used my hair dye, he probably threw all his shampoo away and got new bottles. Unfortunately, somehow, Bruce noticed something wrong about his shampoo and threw it away, too. All in all, I think I did pretty good. My favorite was Natasha, and Clint was both strong enough and nice enough to hold her back from murdering me. I'll probably pay for it later, but I don't care. Fun is fun and I don't think anyone could come up with a good revenge plot, besides maybe the assassins, whom I hope agree that I'm not worth the time. I should keep an eye on her. For now, though, I'm safe.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to post a Christmas themed Romanogers drabble that had mistletoe in it and everything, but some things happened. A family tragedy and sad stuff, and just chaos. I couldn't get back in the mood to make a happy Christmas-y cute thing. I did want to still post something for Christmas, so here ya go. A short thing that could have stood waiting in the drafts for a much longer time.  
> Okay, ANYWHO. I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate, or none, idk. Whatever. I hope you all had a good day period. Leave Kudos and comments and all that good stuff. Do that whole tumblr thing where you follow me and you can even tell me what you wanna read so I can write it.  
> It's 1:12 a.m. I work at 9 a.m. Yay.  
> ~~~ okaythanksbye ~~~


End file.
